The Search




By Amaya Gayle Gregory


What if it doesn't get any better than this? What if This is It, this is all, in all its itness, its thisness, its thusness. If you knew that for certain, all the way down to the tips of your sweet little toes what would change? Could you settle down, settle into your precious life?

Isn't the search -- for understanding and meaning, the desire for something bigger, something better, the magnetic pull towards a greater degree of happiness, the crux of riches' appeal, the seat of anxiety about not getting, finding, arriving -- the nub of trouble? We search for peace and happiness in infinite forms -- each to his own -- and that search lies at the heart of our unease, at the sacred core of all the fuss.

The search is what most call life? It isn't life and the search; it's life as search, search as life. Life is a ball of frustration and break throughs, worry and wonder, doubt and certainty, blame and shame, guilt and pride, ease and disease.

And we wonder why we are miserable right in the midst of what should have brought us happiness.

We search for one half of life's equation -- the good, the godly, the acceptable even though we know that it comes with its twin -- the bad, the ungodly, the unacceptable. We live in a plane of duality. If there is black, there is white.

That doesn't stop us. We strive. We push forward. We struggle.

That's the search.

We don't realize that stopping, just taking a seat on the side of the road and being with life as it is, is the answer to all the answers the questions seek.

It feels too simple. It seems too ordinary.

It's not. It is the greatest act of courage possible.

We can't see what's really here, what this life truly is, while we seek. We are blinded by our need for answers. We are deprived of what's right in front of us as we look right past it to what's beyond.

What's right here is all that is, heaven and hell, love and fear, human and divine. And peace flows gently through us, silently to us, as we give up the fight, as we put away our search tools and insatiable need for answers.

You can sense it, can feel a glint of freedom just considering the possibility.

You won't miss out on anything. You won't not do what you need or want to do. You won't suddenly change and do nothing but lay on the couch eating bon-bons. Your ego won't even disappear. It is essential to the human trip. It's what make all this possible, an aware prism that refracts timelessness into time and spacelessness into space, a portal that gives birth to the realm of experiencing.

Life's a trippy trip, a grand experiment, a tour of delight when the search ends. Shift continues to happen. Experiences unfold and reveal their secrets. Uncensored by the search, naked of need, awareness absent anxiety, life dazzles and surprises, ringing in the full gamut of feelings and sensations ... and rather than the walking dead, you are truly alive, are aliveness living and breathing, walking in heaven on earth.

There is nothing to fear my loves. Stop if you can. If not, stopping is assured. Eventually even the Energizer Bunny winds down.


There is no appropriate bio for Amaya Gayle. She doesn’t exist other than as an expression of Consciousness Itself. Talking about her in biographical terms is a disservice to the truth and to anyone who might be led to believe in such nonsense. None of us exist, not in the way we think. It’s actually much better than we can imagine. Ideas spring into words. Words flow onto paper and yet no one writes them. They simply appear fully formed. Looking at her you would swear this is a lie. She’s there after all, but honestly, she’s not … and she is. Love a paradox and life is nothing, if not paradoxical. Bios normally wax on about accomplishments and beliefs, happenings in time and space. She has never accomplished anything, has no beliefs and like you was never born and will never die. Engage with Amaya at your own risk.


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